Why I put my kids in private school...

Source: Louisiana Historical Society

A friend tweeted about this article in Salon. As a parent who did the opposite, I have a different perspective.


Last year, we moved our two sons to private school; one as a freshman and the other as a junior. In addition, I have three older kids who graduated from two different public schools. Even as a private school teacher, my feeling was that, as long as the public school served my kids well, that is where they could stay. They had excellent elementary experiences and positive middle school careers. Some of my private school parents asked why my kids weren't with me and sometimes it got awkward. But my wife and I had a sense of peace about the decision. Until about two years ago.


We took them out of public school because my students were getting lost. The writer of the Salon article talked about her son getting "lost in the system." She viewed it as something of an aha moment. So did I, but for different reasons.


Let me back up a bit. As a parent, I have one job: to help my children navigate the minefield that is growing up. To help them become adults who can function on their own and contribute in a way that is unique to their skills and callings. Public school was making it harder for me to do my job.


My sons were getting lost and it was taking longer and longer for teachers and administrators to notice and respond. A counselor made an academic assessment about my son after one five minute conversation and one 'drive by' conversation in the hallway. That was all he could spare in his schedule. He was supposed to be my son's advocate at the school and I don't think he could pick the boy out of a line-up. There were several exceptional teachers at this school. However, there were also teachers who locked their door after school, rather than help students. The Salon writer suggests that that environment forced her child to be their own advocate. My son tried to be an advocate for himself as well, but how do you advocate to a locked door?


The Salon writer talks about her kids developing a thicker skin and being expected to be a part of their own "education equation." She said that her son is in middle school and is a rising freshman. (I am not sure of the daughter's age, but, looking at the extra-curriculars she can take, my guess is middle or upper school.) As a middle school teacher, I would respectfully offer that the transition she is writing about is the move between lower and middle/upper school, not the move from private to public. At the secondary level, we try to instill a sense of identity and ownership in our young charges. It is their education. I can be a champion, but I can't want it more than them. I would argue that the same thing would have happened at almost any college preparatory private school. One of the challenges of teaching middle school is that there is also a learning curve for parents-from being the homework police to letting your child founder a bit so the student can learn how they learn best. Again, respectfully, this is what I think the writer is encountering, not a fundamental shift in private and public school rationales.


I would also argue that some of her concerns about public and private feel more suited to a larger school versus smaller school discussion. A school with seven high schools, fifteen middle school and dozens of elementary is a different animal than a K-12 school feeding into one high school--public or private.


From the sounds of the article, her kids are doing well and that is cool. It sounds like the decision was a good one for them.


I can say the same. My sons have gained a sense of identity that I think would have been missed in public school. One of the things about being in a smaller school is that it is hard to hide. The inability to hide can have its shadow side, but it means that your teachers know you in a way that is, quite simply, impossible in a class or 30 or 40. My son was enrolled in an AP science course based on his transcript and previous math/science grades from public school. During the first quarter of the class, I would have said it was a mistake. However, his teacher saw my son as someone to encourage and invest his time in. My son learned dogged determination and that he was someone worth investing in. After two years of barely being noticed, that was a revelation.


My sons also have had a chance to explore things that they never would have tried at a large public school. The Salon writer suggests "...if they (students) want to be perceived as extraordinary in the public school system, they had better be extraordinary. The school will not create extraordinary for them."  Again, I would suggest that this isn't a private to public school assessment, but one of development from lower to upper school. Participation ribbons pretty much ends when you get to middle school. We do give a student as many opportunities to try new things as we can, but there are winners and losers at football games, scholar's bowl and spelling bees.






Please note that I am not suggesting that private schools have it all figured out. There are private schools that are exceptional, and some that are jacked up. There are public school that are equally exceptional and some that are equally jacked up.
As one of my sons maneuvers his way through the last few weeks of his senior year, I am thankful for the teachers, both public and private, he has had in his life. We have been blessed. I hope the same for the Salon writer.
 

Source: Kansas Historical Society

As my wife and I wrestled with the move from public to private, this is what was on the table for us:


Academic--the Salon writer is correct about the academic levels being very different. Our average ACT (remember, I'm a Midwesterner) is about six points higher than our public school counterparts. We tend to have a higher percentage of National Merit Scholars than public schools. Our AP scores are higher and we offer more AP courses per capita than public schools. If you have a gifted student, is it worth the money to put them in an environment like ours? You have to decide. If you have a gifted student with a learning difference, the smaller class size and more 'nurturing' (the Salon writer's words, not mine)environment may mean the difference between thriving or getting lost in the shuffle. The cliché "A rising tide lifts all boats" applies as well. I can think of countless kids who weren't stellar students who worked harder and challenged themselves more because they were in an environment where they said, "it was cool to be smart." I have no doubt that served them well as they moved from middle to upper school (and then college).


Financial--the move was (and is) a significant financial struggle. Even with tuition remission for both boys, we spend a lot of time eating Kraft Dinners and managing a budget tighter by half. The Salon writer had to have a second job and I agree that one of the tipping points between private and public school as a parent is how time should be allotted. Do I work a second job to give my child an opportunity or is that time better spent actually with that child?


Time--our commute was fifteen minutes to public school to less than five to the private school. A few years before me moved closer for that very reason. We found that we were spending more time in the car than anything else, and that wasn't working for us.


Social (Parents)--This one is tricky for me for two reasons. As a Midwesterner, private schools here are different than on the East Coast. We fit different molds. We also were founded by someone who wanted to offer a private school education at as reasonable a price as possible. As a result, we charge half of what a private school on the East Coast does. That means our parents are more PTA than Real Housewives. It is also tricky because I am an employee of the school. I like my boundaries in that regards. I will be an advocate for my kids, but its 'bring your child to work' day everyday for me. I have a solid working relationship with parents, but its a different relationship. I image that is the same whether public or private.


Social (Students)--For me, this one is tied to the academic category. Is this a place where my student would thrive? Is it too big or too small? How does my student do socially--you may determine that public or private is a wash on this issue. BTW-Please don't let movies about private schools define your worldview. We are as varied as public. There is a gifted school within a school in the area whose students who are as full of themselves as any private school I've encountered.

The private school teacher post--the reboot

It has been an interesting few days for me with the blog. The previous blog entry, has made it into my 'most read' top ten within a couple days. That has been out of more than 250 posts over three years of posting--cool.


I have had several people talk to me or email me about the post, which is also unprecedented. Most of the folks who have messaged me had pretty much the same comment, "What was it that you wished you could say that you thought was going to peeve people?" or "It felt like you stopped half way through your thought." or "What was your point?"


I went back and read it...these are fair points.


My admission is that I pulled my punches in that post. I decided this thread would take a few posts to get my thoughts out there and so decided to close that post with some baseline about private schools not being one 'thing'. Mission Accomplished. Add to that that I am an 'ice cream truck' (I want everyone to be happy) so there might have a bit of yellow streak shown, as well.


So here it goes. Here are three thoughts, not necessarily in any order. BTW-these may not be issues where you would think there would be a lot of 'pushback'. Think of these as the opening remarks of a 'yellow-bellied ice cream truck'. I'll save provocative to later.


My students are somehow 'easier to teach' than theirs--this one makes me a little crazy for a couple reasons. My student's come from such a wide range of experiences and academic abilities and learning styles and ... (You get my point, right?) They are by no means homogenous. It is true I don't have significant numbers of my kids living in poverty or in a warzone, but neither do most teachers. (One of the teachers who inspires me teaches in inner city Philly. What she does with these young women and men makes my challenges a cakewalk. The funny thing is, I have never, ever heard her compare her students to other students. That is a lesson I have tried to take to heart.) That leads me to the other reason it makes me crazy: if feels as if the teachers who say this see their students as 'less than'. That breaks my heart.


BTW-there is a strain of this that goes that my students are snooty, privileged rich kids whose tutor does their homework for them so they can fly to ... Grrrrrrrr.


My rich, elitist parents--Just because a parent sends their kids to a private school doesn't mean they are wealthy. For most of my parents, tuition is a significant sacrifice and they do without so their child can attend. I can speak as a parent of private school kids, I wouldn't be able to send them without scholarships. Do we have really wealthy parents? Yup. Do we have parents who are working two jobs to send their kids here,?  Yup. The cool part of my school is that I see parents working hard to make it about their kids and not their wealth or lack-there-of.


BTW-there is a strain on this one two that makes my parents something out of Dickens' novel. Either uninvolved and uncaring or Queen of the Tiger Moms. My parents pay cash money (above and beyond property tax) to have me educate their kids. Are they interested?  Yup. Do we always agree on best practices? No. The challenge is always how to manage that conflict in the best interest of the child.


Private school teachers are not 'real' teachers--I travel a lot during the summer with teachers and, invariably, we end up talking shop. I have found that, sometimes, my thoughts and experiences and successes are somehow 'suspect' because of where I teach. Unless you teach in an inner city or an Indian reservation or with a population with special needs, I would argue that the classroom is the classroom. I don't have little Stepford students filing into their seats. My students are kids, with all the baggage that comes from being a kid in the 21st Century. I am challenged with-just like my peers all across the country-with making sure that what I do in the classroom is both meaningful and engaging. Period.


As I said before, these are three thoughts. I have more.


As I said in the previous posts, I am not opposed to a discussion of the view of private schools. I would covet your thoughts in the comments section below. If you are a Facebook friend, don't post on Facebook, post here, okay? And leave your name, okay?

What a private school teacher wishes he could say...

There was a Washington Post blog entry last May that someone suggested on Facebook: What If Finland's Great Teachers Taught in U.S. Schools? It was written by a leader in education in Finland, Pasi Sahlburg. I read a very interesting book last summer about Finnish (and other top performing) schools titled, The Smartest Kids in the World, so the question caught my eye. The article (and the book) are an interesting read.


One of the last paragraphs of the blog entry is pretty provocative...

To finish up, let’s do one theoretical experiment. We transport highly trained Finnish teachers to work in, say, Indiana in the United States (and Indiana teachers would go to Finland). After five years—assuming that the Finnish teachers showed up fluent in English and that education policies in Indiana would continue as planned—we would check whether these teachers have been able to improve test scores in state-mandated student assessments.

He finished the thought experiment saying that the Finnish teacher in Indiana would  be less effective and the American teacher in Finland would be more effective. Why? He posits that the American teacher in Finland would:

stand to flourish on account of the freedom to teach without the constraints of standardized curricula and the pressure of standardized testing; strong leadership from principals who know the classroom from years of experience as teachers; a professional culture of collaboration; and support from homes unchallenged by poverty.

Now we can spend time unpacking those ideas--the socioeconomic status of our kids and their success; administrators and the lens of classroom experience; and a 'culture of collaboration' in the teacher's lounges.


I'm not done with my own unpacking, but I will say I do agree with him on some cursory level. The school I teach at is considered successful. We regularly have a high percentage of National Merit awards each year. Our students receive millions of dollars in scholarships based on their academic prowess, athletic ability as well as leadership experience and potential. As importantly, we have college students who regularly come back to us and say they were prepared for the rigors of university.


We are successful, in large part because we meet the Finnish design. Teachers passionate about students and their subjects. My boss was a classroom teacher for 20+ years before joining the administration. Our school was founded on the concept that teachers are expected to be leaders and entrepreneurs in their classroom and should be given the respect and latitude that a leader/entrepreneur needs. We are expected to develop curriculum rather than receive it top-down from administrators. We have a wide range of families (wealthy to middle class; natural-born and naturalized; multi-faith...) on our campus, but there is a general understanding that there is a common goal--the student. We don't always agree how to achieve that goal, but the goal is to keep the student in the center of any conversation/collaboration. We are most definitely not perfect. We have challenges we need to deal with. We certainly don't have a ...


...This is where my friends remind me that I teach at a private school and that public school's have it much harder which makes it more difficult to fix.


And I agree. Sort of.


Normally, I would sit quietly, nurse my beer, and listen to the laundry list of reasons why public schools can't (fill in the blank)...


But, I am feeling a little froggy today and have decided that 2015 is the year of Mr. Mc--private school teacher. I know my thoughts on the subject are going to peeve a few people and I respect that. I am more than happy for this blog to be a spot for passionate dialogue on the issue of education. Actually, I would be delighted for it to be a place for passionate discussion. I told someone last night that I was thinking about shuttering the blog because it didn't seem worth writing anymore. This thread (why private schools are vital to  American education) may fall flat, but, well, there is learning in failure, isn't there. Besides, I'd rather shutter the blog knowing I tried to have a conversation.


So, today's thought is that many of the people who talk about private school education have no flippin' idea of the subject. To them I would (politely) ask: please shut your pie hole.


I have been teaching in a private school for ten years and, in as many years, I've listened to people (teachers, administrators, parents, ...) make statements about private schools which are stereotypically overbroad, dismissive to the point of being mean-spirited and just plain ignorant or stupid. (BTW-ignorant is when you speak with out the facts/stupid is when the facts are available, you just ignore them.)


If you do some research, you will find that there are several types of private school. Some are the toney East Coast Boarding school's most people think of when they hear private school--think Phillips Exeter School in New Hampshire. Some are school's of last resort for students with learning differences--think of The Greenwood School, featured in Ken Burn's The Address. Some are focused on specific fields like Interlochen Arts Academy in Michigan. Some are focused on training up students in a particular faith/denomination--think parochial schools. Most private schools fit somewhere in the middle of all of these.


If you think of Dead Poet's Society when you think of private schools, you are off by about six decades as well as a mile.